Continuing the theme of tobacco, following on from yesterday's World No Tboacco Day . . .
Q: What's the difference between the 1960's and the 2000's?
A: In the 2000's, a guy goes into a shop and says "Give me a box of condoms!" ... and then whispers to the shop assistant, "Oh, and slip in a packet of cigarettes, too."
Two monks from different monasteries were old friends who shared a great fondness for cigars.
Once each year when they had a chance to visit, they would pray together and, of course, light up. Eventually, however, they became concerned that there might be some sin in their habit and they each resolved to ask their respective superiors for guidance.
When they met again, one was puffing away.
“But the head of my monastery told me it was a sin,” protested the other.
“What did you ask him?” said the first.
“I asked him if it was all right to smoke during evening prayer and he said, ‘No.’ ”
“Well,” said his friend as he blew a perfect smoke ring into the air, “I asked my superior if it was alright to pray during our evening smoke and he said it was just fine!”
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says, "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question."
Q: You are in a boat in the middle of the ocean with a packet of cigarettes and no lighter to light them. You don't have anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it?
A: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. That will make the boat a cigarette lighter.
(Boom boom tchh).